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mood

by it me

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1.
We used to talk about forever Like it was gonna start tomorrow Made list of everything We had to beg for, steal, or borrow. Wasted time making plans for things that we will never do. Wasted so much time on stupid stuff like "me and you." Stupid kids with stupid dreams, Antique quilts with torn-up seams, Changed our minds, cut our losses, Stupid kids with stupid dreams. The "Great Perhaps" was our demise, The answer to the question isn't a surprise. I wanted a different ending. I wanted a happy ending. Stupid kids with stupid dreams, Antique quilts with torn-up seams, Changed our minds, cut our losses, Stupid kids with stupid dreams. You can't hurt me like you used to, You can't hurt me like you used to, I'm still self-conscious and vulnerable, But you can't hurt me like you used to. I'm still self-conscious and vulnerable, But you can't hurt me like you used to.
2.
Emily is cooking the weekend soup, Chris is in the corner with a haunting tune, The kid wants to watch the show we all hate, We're already tired and it's not even 8. We split up the groceries, the bills, and rent, It's cheaper than my old downtown apartment Where I came home to silence and lived all alone, I spent over 7 years calling it my home. It's not my home anymore, I'm not alone anymore. I put on the Star Wars prequel trilogy When we didn't have internet and ran out of memes. I wouldn't have done that if it was just me. It feels good to share the misery. I'm not alone anymore, I'm not all alone anymore. I bring home the liquor and the PBR, I used to drink alone, at home or at the bar. Now I come home to a symphony of laughs and tears, Where three adults commiserate with whiskey and beer. I'm not all alone anymore.
3.
Watching the weatherman on the TV Talking about the heat and humidity, Sharing a story, or an old memory, A white-knuckle grip on fleeting reality. Your mind is not an empty canvas, It's painted corner to corner, The colors still hold some brilliance, But it's hard to paint on it anymore. You were around the day I started to breathe, I'll still be here when it's time for you to leave. It's not a comfortable thought That someday you will be gone, It's not a comfortable thought, But you won't really be gone. Every story you told, still remembered, The songs you sang repeat in our hearts, Your memory will be here forever, And we won't really be apart. I'm yours, and you're mine. That's the truth for all time.
4.
You doing okay? Taking some time for yourself in the morning, To put your feelings into words? Have you finished that project? It's alright if you haven't, yet. Even a sentence is progress. Remember when you went to California, And didn't think you'd ever make it home? Or when you drove your car to Montreal There and back again, and all alone. You doing alright? You don't have to sort yourself out Before you face the world. You don't have to put on a brave face, It's okay if it still hurts. Drive until you're tired, then come home, It's never been like you to just give up. Grab some Taco Bell at 2am And try it all again when the sun comes up. Drink some coffee and write poetry, Everything is gonna be okay.

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released August 16, 2019

Chris Knox

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it me Denton, Texas

Emo jams
How I Met Your Mother references
Not much else

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